


a new way of living

by Bara_no_Uta



Series: Finding Meaning in [E]ternity [12]
Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/F, Families of Choice, Post-Ending E (NieR: Automata), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:34:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27381262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bara_no_Uta/pseuds/Bara_no_Uta
Summary: “I… wasn’t prepared for how much 6O reminds me of No. 4. They’re different, but it’s that same optimism and always trying to cheer everyone up.” She drew her knees to her chest. Of all of them, the one who she tended to remember most was No. 4.“Yeah. Seeing 21O is harder than I thought it would be, too,” Anemone admitted softly, looking down at her hands. She didn’t regret killing No. 21. It wasn’t like there had been any alternative – since No. 21 couldn’t erase the virus, and she was the only one with the capability to do that at all, there hadn’t been any chance of saving her. But it still brought back strong memories. She had shot countless allies due to infection, but something made the situation with No. 21 all the more vivid in her mind.Perhaps it was because after seeing No. 21 cure Lily, she had gotten a sense of hope that she wouldn’t lose anymore allies to the virus, and then she’d had that hope ripped away.“I miss them, Anemone.” She knew that this was likely so obvious that the words were redundant, but she didn’t know what else to say.Anemone placed an arm around A2’s shoulders. “I know. I do too.”
Relationships: 2B/A2 (NieR: Automata), A2 & Anemone (NieR: Automata)
Series: Finding Meaning in [E]ternity [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1892593
Kudos: 18





	a new way of living

**Author's Note:**

> You can probably read this as a standalone fic and just think of it as "everybody lives," or rather, "everybody is being brought back to life over time in various ways." Devola, Popola, 6O, and 21O are currently alive, in addition to A2, 2B, and 9S, and of course characters like Anemone who didn't die in the first place. 6O and 21O were only recently brought back though.

“Hey,” A2 greeted with a small smile.

“Hey,” Anemone answered, returning her smile. She nodded toward the entrance of the camp in a silent invitation that they could go talk elsewhere if A2 wanted. Personally speaking, Anemone felt more comfortable leaving her post before having heart-to-heart conversations. As leader of the camp, she tried to uphold a certain image so that the Resistance members would know they could rely on her.

“Want to take a walk?” A2 asked, agreeing with the invitation. Sometimes they would speak in the privacy of Anemone’s room, especially when they were talking about the Pearl Harbor Descent Mission. Other times, especially if A2 just stopped by to hang out together, they would go to different places in the city ruins. In the end, it was all about the same anyway since there were so few other androids around.

“Yeah, that sounds nice.” Anemone caught the eye of her second-in-command to indicate that she was leaving her in charge. Truthfully, the Resistance members were likely accustomed to this by now, since A2 was stopping by fairly often these days.

This was the first time she had stopped by for a visit since 6O and 21O had been brought back, however, and A2 felt the weight of it making it difficult to start the conversation.

Neither of them were one for forced small talk anyway though, so Anemone didn’t mind the silence. She waited until they were out of earshot from the Resistance camp. “So, 6O and 21O are here,” she commented, having met them when they were taking their tour of the area.

“Yeah. How are you feeling about it?”

She shifted their course toward a nearby building that she knew they could get to the roof of. That was another way they sometimes sought privacy, or at least a sense of it. It wasn’t guaranteed that no one else would happen upon them, but generally speaking, harder to reach areas made it less likely. They jumped onto an old bus, then onto the roof of one building. From there, they climbed into another building through a window. It was a tight fit, but the out of the way spot made it perfect for a more private conversation.

Once they were situated in the building, Anemone answered her question. “I’m always glad for the ones we can save, but it also makes me think of the ones we couldn’t. …How about you?”

“I… wasn’t prepared for how much 6O reminds me of No. 4. They’re different, but it’s that same optimism and always trying to cheer everyone up.” She drew her knees to her chest. Of all of them, the one who she tended to remember most was No. 4.

“Yeah. Seeing 21O is harder than I thought it would be, too,” Anemone admitted softly, looking down at her hands. She didn’t regret killing No. 21. It wasn’t like there had been any alternative – since No. 21 couldn’t erase the virus, and she was the only one with the capability to do that at all, there hadn’t been any chance of saving her. But it still brought back strong memories. She had shot countless allies due to infection, but something made the situation with No. 21 all the more vivid in her mind.

Perhaps it was because after seeing No. 21 cure Lily, she had gotten a sense of hope that she wouldn’t lose anymore allies to the virus, and then she’d had that hope ripped away.

“I miss them, Anemone.” She knew that this was likely so obvious that the words were redundant, but she didn’t know what else to say.

Anemone placed an arm around A2’s shoulders. “I know. I do too.” She missed all of them, even the ones she had lost long before meeting A2. She thought about asking if there was any chance that they could be brought back in the same way 6O and 21O were, but she knew the answer without even voicing it. If that were possible, she was sure A2 would already be doing it.

She had asked Pod if their data was available, some time after starting the download for 6O and 21O’s backup data. Unfortunately, their backup data was not kept. There was personality data and combat data, but they wouldn’t have any of their memories. In other words, they would be completely different people, possibly no more similar than she was to 2B. That prospect seemed wore than not bringing them back at all.

A2 felt like crying. “I thought I would be glad not to feel empty anymore, but I’m sick of how much this hurts.”

Anemone definitely understood that. “I remember when I first started letting myself feel everything, I thought it would crush me.”

“How did you make it get better?” Was there any way to skip to _not_ feeling like it was going to crush her? Because A2 could definitely relate to that statement.

She considered the question, making sure she was giving a well thought out answer. “The more I let myself feel, the more that after a while, it didn’t feel so soul-crushing. Finding a new purpose helped, too, even though I was afraid I could lose that too.”

A2 laughed, though there was no humor in it. “That sounds familiar. I’m happy, having allies again, but damn, it’s terrifying to think that any of you could get killed.”

“And that is the hard part, because there is no guarantee,” she admitted. She would love to tell A2 that none of them would ever die, but realistically, that wasn’t a promise she could make. It was possible that they would survive thousands of years like Devola and Popola, but if something happened that destroyed their data, even if their bodies could be repaired, that would be the end of them.

Unsure what to say to that, A2 just sat with it, processing. “I guess that not being alone makes me remember how much I never want to be alone again.”

“Yeah.” Anemone sighed and added, “Emotions are confusing.”

“They are.” She pulled away from the side hug that they had ended up in to look at Anemone. “Thank you for listening.”

“Anytime. And thank you for listening, too.” Having a chance to process together helped. Even if neither had talked much, that was typical for how they communicated.

“Of course,” she said with a smile. It was nice to have a friend who had already navigated some of this territory who she could turn to for advice. Though, that wasn’t to say she didn’t also appreciate being able to talk to 2B about it. They provided support in different ways, and she appreciated both of them immensely.

…And here she was thinking about 2B again. She frowned. At first, it had made sense to her that she thought about 2B a lot, because she was helping her start to navigate not having a mission, and 2B was one of two total friends that she had. But she didn’t think about Anemone as often or in the same way, and even now that she was also helping 6O navigate things and becoming friends with her, she didn’t think about 6O as often either.

“What’s on your mind?” Anemone asked, her head tilted as she watched A2’s expression change.

A2 thought about how to explain it. Maybe running it by Anemone would help her gain some clarity, so she decided it was worth opening up. “Speaking of emotions being confusing, I’ve been trying to figure something out. There’s someone in particular who I find myself thinking about a lot. More often than anyone else, and I’m not sure why.”

She fought the amusement out of her expression. Trying as hard as she could to keep her voice impassive, she asked, “What kinds of things do you think about this ‘someone’?” _This someone who is obviously 2B. Does she not realize the way they look at each other?_

“Things like… wanting to spend time with her, or if I see something interesting, wanting to show her… Wondering what she’s doing, and if she would want to spend time together, mostly. And I think that about you too sometimes, but not… as much.” She bit her lip. “Lately she’s been spending time with someone else, and I wonder if she would rather spend time with her than me.”

It was completely obvious, wasn’t it? Was A2 seriously somehow oblivious to her own feelings? …Then again, as a YoRHa unit who defected after her first mission and had been alone since, had she even had the opportunity to learn what love was? She decided to try to prompt the realization one more time, if only because having to explain an emotion was difficult. “How do you feel around her?”

A2 thought about how she would feel if she were spending time with 2B right now. “It depends. Mostly, I feel… comfortable. Like I want to keep staying around her. But I’ve noticed that at times, like sometimes when she touches me, my circulatory system and internal temperature increase, almost as though I were scared… but I’ve never felt scared of her.” Well, not now that 2B wasn’t going to try to kill her, at least.

Oh boy. Yep, with all that, there was only one conclusion Anemone could come to. “Number 2, have you never heard of being in love?”

“In love?” She searched her memory for the meaning of the words. She had simulated memories of her grandmother referencing having loved her grandfather, and talking about her parents having been in love… And that was when it clicked. The version of ‘herself’ from her memories instinctively understood what this term meant, and now that understanding carried over to her present self. “Oh. I’m… in love with 2B.”

And somewhat jealous of 6O, from the sounds of it. “Yeah, I’d say so.”

A2 felt a bit better now that she had a name for her feelings, but that also raised a new question: should she tell her? “2B has enough on her plate right now. I shouldn’t add to that.”

_Are you kidding me? You don’t see how she looks at you?_ “I dunno, I think she might be happy to hear it. But you should do what you think is right.”

“Have you ever been in love?” she asked, finding herself looking up to Anemone as something of a mentor at times.

“…Yeah. There were a couple of times.” It was after the second that she had tried to close her heart off and avoid getting close to anyone for fear of losing them. In both cases, the other ended up dead, and she hadn’t wanted to go through that again.

The note of finality in Anemone’s voice told her how that had ended, and that asking more about it would bring back painful memories, so she dropped it. “I’ll think about it. Whether to tell her.”

Anemone nodded, grateful for the conversation to be over. With that, she decided to change the subject. “How are 6O and 21O adjusting?”

“They seem to be taking everything surprisingly well, although we haven’t told them that there are no humans or about YoRHa Black Boxes yet as far as I know. I’m leaving that up to 2B and 9S, since they know them better than I do. But as far as not having a mission, 21O seems to like accompanying 9S on his research, and 6O, 2B, and I’ve been looking for plant seeds. She wants to start growing things. I’m not sure how much my simulated memories will apply to the current environment, but I said I’d try to help.”

Anemone grinned. “Look at you, helping her settle in.”

She was glad to be able to do that, recognizing that it gave 6O a sense of purpose. “I’m doing my best.”

“And that’s all any of us can do.” She thought about it and added, “If you’d like, I can ask the Resistance members to keep an eye out for any seeds when they’re out.”

“That would be great. Thank you.”

“No problem.” Anemone stretched, then looked out the window. “It’s been great talking to you, but I should probably get back to my post. Stop by again soon?”

“For sure.”


End file.
